Select Works from Crawdaddy! Magazine
Essays
Hendrix Graffiti "The first time I saw Jimi Hendrix, I was eight years old and he scared me. Really scared me. I wanted to leave, go home, and watch The Monkees or The Archies just to dilute the scary substance that was now inside me. I saw Hendrix in a dive theater where my dad had taken me to see the film American Graffiti—it had just come out, and it was his scene, right down to the film’s location. I think Hendrix scared my dad, too. But being a good father, he didn’t show it. Thank god it was a matinee…" read more
Peter Pan Never Dies "A long time ago in a newspaper far, far away, I wrote about the rock concert generation. From about 1968 until around 1980 at the very latest, rock concerts were gnarly, smoky, loud, drug-fueled, colorful counterculture spectacles that parents and all the good kids feared. Those lucky enough to have attended shows during this time assign a sort of reverence and respect to rock concerts that is lost on younger generations. It’s like knowing what American life was like before high fructose corn syrup and Starbucks." read more
Opening The Book "Being a musician is not the noblest of pursuits. It’s not a career path by any stretch of the imagination—more of a career escape plan than anything else. Why, if Holden Caulfield picked up a goddamn guitar half way through The Catcher in the Rye, he would have beaten both Nirvana and the Clash to the punch." read more
2 and a Half Words "There it was, sitting in my inbox—those two and a half words that started the world on fire more than once. The kind of fire you want to stand next to, the kind you want to play with. These same words birthed “Cinnamon Girl”, “White Punks on Dope”, and a “21st Century Schizoid Man” amidst hundreds of other creations that have made life on this flying rock more bearable, three and a half minutes at a time. These words smell like teen spirit and when you hear them they make you wonder who the fuck are you?" read more
A View From The Floor, The 2011 NAMM Show "Max Mobley is currently being interrogated by hotel security. So this week’s Riot Gear! with nonexclusive coverage of the 2011 Winter NAMM show is written and performed—well, written, by me, some dude that Max met in line at the Marriott men’s room.
I stood in the center of screaming chaos. To my left, the forefather of heavy drumming, Carmine Appice, (Vanilla Fudge, Pink Floyd, Ted Nugent) sits behind a table signing autographs and looking like he needs a drink nearly as badly as I do. Opposite Carmine, to my right, some band with young faces covered in what looks like half-done KISS makeup stand on a riser and give their best Mötley Crüe poses. And yeah, Mötley Crüe stole their poses from KISS, so it’s kind of apropos." read more
I stood in the center of screaming chaos. To my left, the forefather of heavy drumming, Carmine Appice, (Vanilla Fudge, Pink Floyd, Ted Nugent) sits behind a table signing autographs and looking like he needs a drink nearly as badly as I do. Opposite Carmine, to my right, some band with young faces covered in what looks like half-done KISS makeup stand on a riser and give their best Mötley Crüe poses. And yeah, Mötley Crüe stole their poses from KISS, so it’s kind of apropos." read more
The Church of Love: A Blessed Beatle Event. "Everyone I know that loves the Beatles does so not for their technical or cultural milestones. They love them for their music, which naturally includes their spirit, which naturally comes from their story. Loss and tragedy followed by success so huge it becomes a sort of tragic burden in itself—that is the band’s story. Pain, triumph, defeat, and victory for everyone who followed—in some ways, it is the archetypical martyred king legend. Much time and music has since passed, yet still the Beatles’ victory survives as a memory, and thrives as an influence..." read more
St. Paul The Electric "I had known Les Paul, the electric guitar by Gibson, years before I had learned of Les Paul the guitar player, which was years before I had learned of Les Paul the inventor. The first time I saw the names Les Paul and Mary Ford together was in TV Guide; I figured she must be an exceptional musician since her instrument got top billing. I made a point to watch what turned out to be an old black-and-white clip from their TV show. Ford stood and sang, and her Les Paul was in the hands of some science teacher in an uncool (for my generation) suit and tie." read more
The Spectre of Spector "Before Phil Spector was convicted of murder and accused of bad taste in wigs, the man made some very famous music—some bad, some good, some iconic. His credits chart much of the history of rock ‘n’ roll, from the Ronettes to the Ramones, from pop singles too numerous to mention to one of the first live recording box sets, Concert for Bangladesh." read more
The Clash of Ideals "MTV began broadcasting my freshman year, and it was huge, though none of us knew it would spell D-O-O-M for the original punk movement. All of the sudden hair bands were in the wings warming up their blow dryers, with their short-skirted, hair-scrunched, shoulder-padded groupies kneeling before them, red tongues out to accept the misogynistic Eucharists that promised not salvation, but merely a jump cut in a rock ‘n’ roll video. New wave was emerging and with it a new brand of girl power that had been lacking stateside since the Shangri-Las’ hit “Leader of the Pack” in 1964. Punk was dead." read more
Interviews
Imogen Heap "Heap has more ideas than she can possibly spit out on any given day. Her dialog moves fast, but she is also personable. It’s easy to get absorbed in conversation with her without realizing it. She is talented but humble, has a lot to say but is considerate. She is beautiful and sexy, but doesn’t let it interfere with her music or her ideas. And she has lots of both." read more
Alex Lifeson of Rush "I’ve been very fortunate to have met a few of my heroes, including Elvis Costello when I was drunk off of free backstage beer. Costello could have destroyed me in our brief but memorable conversation together, but there was no need. His ego didn’t demand it, and he was apparently interested in our conversation, or at least was interested in talking to a fan for a dozen minutes or so. The conversation probably would have lasted longer had I not tried to kiss him—that was a big note-to-self moment for myself, if not for both of us…" read more
King Crimson's Adrian Belew Part 1 "When I am in some chain store, big or small, cool or cool’s opposite, and I see that woman or man who looks older than the rest of the crew—like maybe pushing 30 while everyone else is dabbling with 20—I wonder how they got there. I mean, how and why did fate deposit them here, cashing me out for my purchase of dog biscuits and underwear? And if I perceive them as a musician (sometimes the hair gives them away, sometimes it’s the ‘artist pheromone’), I wonder if it is the dream that has placed them on the smock and nametag side of the counter, or is it the dream’s demise? And then I think, there but for the grace of Zappa goes Adrian Belew." read more
King Crimson's Adrian Belew Part 2 "...listen to Belew play guitar and hear the songs he’s penned and you get it—he does so for the sake of music, for the function lust and not for the chicks, the status, the drugs, or the money much beyond making a living. He is far more interested in invention than hit records, and thank the gods for that. Because for all the haircuts and tattoos bastardizing the art and the role of the rock guitarist, Adrian Belew is there to remind us that there is still so much to discover—in the notes, the technique, and the technology, which brings us to Part II." read more
Concert Reviews
Rush's Marathon Time Machine Tour Blows Away the Bay Area "As a Rush geek, I’m sure this piece will be totally unbiased; I might even throw in a few cheap shots to appear jaded and above the emotions and enthusiasm common to the modern day warrior’s Canadian prog-rock mass. Like, how do you get a 40-something dude with back problems to stand in one place for three hours without complaining? Take him to a Rush concert. With my thesaurus at the ready, let’s dive in.
From getting my triple gin and tonic (last thing you want to do at a Rush show is fill your bladder unnecessarily), until the closing video featuring Paul Rudd and Jason Segal playing their characters from the movie I Love You, Man, the event was, in whole and in part,—amusing, bizarre, blazing, boundless, breathtaking, brobdingnagian, dizzying, effulgent, epic, elegant, extraordinary, exceptional, extreme, glorious, grandiose, heavy, high, intense, jumbo, lavish, lengthy, outrageous, overwhelming, peerless, prodigious, rad, refulgent, super-colossal, stupefying, sumptuous, supererogatory, unprecedented, virtuosic, Wagnerian, weird, wondrous, and a real whopper." read more
From getting my triple gin and tonic (last thing you want to do at a Rush show is fill your bladder unnecessarily), until the closing video featuring Paul Rudd and Jason Segal playing their characters from the movie I Love You, Man, the event was, in whole and in part,—amusing, bizarre, blazing, boundless, breathtaking, brobdingnagian, dizzying, effulgent, epic, elegant, extraordinary, exceptional, extreme, glorious, grandiose, heavy, high, intense, jumbo, lavish, lengthy, outrageous, overwhelming, peerless, prodigious, rad, refulgent, super-colossal, stupefying, sumptuous, supererogatory, unprecedented, virtuosic, Wagnerian, weird, wondrous, and a real whopper." read more
Cheap Trick "I first learned of Cheap Trick in a series of full column ads in the pages of the rock ‘n’ roll magazine Circus. The ad was on the margin of the page and it said “Meet a Cheap Trick.” Below that was a picture of pretty rock dude with long blonde hair. On the next page—a similar ad in the same space. This time it said, “Meet another Cheap Trick.” And this time below the tagline was some goofy looking dweeb in a bow tie who did not belong in the pages of a rock magazine. This continued for two more pages with the same flip-flop—another bitchin’ rock dude, followed by his antithesis, only this time he looked like Willy Loman." read more
Imogen Heap "In spite of her global popularity, she does not have major label backing to help foot the bill for a concert tour. Yet, she delivers quite a memorable show musically, lyrically, and visually. Part Peter Gabriel, part Eddie Izzard, and part choir of cheeky nymphs, an Imogen Heap show is an adventure into the spirit of the artist, one who finds music all around her—from birds flying overhead while running in the woods to arguments at the dinner table. She captures both equally well and turns them into song." read more
Gillian Welch and David Rawlings "I rarely go to all acoustic shows, as I am a rocker at heart. But Welch’s songs and Rawlings guitar playing are so good that they make for a great crossover act. Dylan fans, Neil Young fans, and bluegrass and alt-music fans are slaked by Welch’s lyrics and the way she emotes them. (In fact, Welch fits nicely between Young and Dylan as a writer.) Guitarists and guitar lovers like me, hell, even shred-lovers and fusion-lovers, go to stand in awe of Rawlings’ playing, which is a cross between machine gun bluegrass, and, well, I am failing to find the right simile here. He sounds and plays like nobody else. And he does it with his eyes closed—rarely looking at the neck of his 1935 Epiphone Olympic guitar..." read more